When we both truly love each other and treat each other as the single most important aspect of life, it shouldn't be this difficult.

Taking a moment to give each other a hug, to send/read a text, or to make or answer a call, should always be a joyous thing, never an annoyance - no matter what. Every single one of those things, in everyday of my life, are the moments I look forward to each and every day.

Why are there always thoughts of preserving separate identities? The thought, of a “need” to preserve an identity separate from you, has never crossed my mind. It doesn’t make sense to me. It makes me feel like there is a lack of trust. I don’t need, to have a separate identity. My identity is to be together with you, the love of my life. There will never be another identity, because I would love to spend the rest of my life with you. I am not going to keep a separate identity, as some sort of fallback. We’re together, in love, and a team. The same team, there is no me against you, or you against me. It should be natural. Everything should be natural. We’re in love; we naturally become each other’s identity, one in the same. That’s what naturally happens when we truly love each other. It’s not about me taking over your life, or you taking over my life. We are building our lives together. And if that’s not what is happening, then something is really wrong.

I never feel like spending time with you or doing things for you is a waste of time, or sacrifice. It’s always the first thing I rather do, over everything else. Because I love you, it’s simple as that. I don’t ever question that or have to think about it, because it’s straight from the heart.

I need somebody who will place me as number one in their life, no matter what. I feel that is the essential basis of a true and loving relationship. Nothing else, at all, should ever get in the way. Each other, and our family, should always be above all else. If we’re not willing to give all of ourselves to each other, then what are we doing? How are we going to be happy? How are we going to start a family? Are we just lying to ourselves telling ourselves that we truly love the other person and will do anything for each other?

Why would what make us happy be different? We make each other happy, isn’t that the simple basis of us falling in love? You make me happy, above all else. I would rather be with you then anyone else, and spend time with you over anything else. That is how much I love you. It’s not something I’ve had to think about it, it’s simply how I feel because I love you more than anything else.

Being in love and a relationship shouldn't feel like a business transaction. Negotiating over how much time we spend with each other, how much we see each other friends, how much of anything. That’s not what being in love should be.

We only have limited time and energy, no matter how much we wish we had more of it. I love you, and I choose to spend as much of it on and with you rather than everything else. I do less of other things, and can’t do everything I want to do because that’s impossible.  I know that you also have a whole list of things where you do less of now than before, just like me. None of us can have our cake and eat it too. It sucks, and everybody has to pick and choose, and you are my number one, simple as that. What’s important is that I don’t feel like any of these are sacrifices, because they are not. We don’t give up anything, but instead have everything to gain. Spending my time and energy on and with you is what I choose to do because I love you. You make me happy, and nothing else make me happier. Nothing at all. I do it willingly and happily, without giving it a second thought, because being with you is better than anything else I could be doing instead. It’s not hard at all, because I love you more than anything else. I don’t think of you needing to do any particular things for me in return, ever. All I ask is that you treat me the same way because we are in love. My biggest fear is to be regretful in the future, and wishing we had spent more time and energy with each other. If that’s not how we both feel about each other, than something is not right. When we are in love, what makes us happy should not be different things – it should always be each other.

Where do we go from here? We have a big fight every single week, for the exact same reasons. How do we make this work?