"Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl doesn't."

(500) Days of Summer

Been meaning to watch this movie for awhile now. It's silly, it's simple, and cliché.

But I think for everyone of us, it hits home hard.

"Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life. May 23rd was a Wednesday."

A belated, Merry Christmas.

Last Christmas

Another year. Another Christmas party. This year...

Was a little better :)


I tried

It's like I'm takin' five steps forward, and ten steps back
Tryin' to get ahead of the game but I can't seem to get it on track
And I keep runnin away the ones that say they love me the most
How could I create the distance when it's supposed to be close?


Bonethugz/Akon

One More Time

Another year. Another girl at work.
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
I've figured that I'll never actually change, no matter what I try.

Now what?...

Man, I guess if I was ever lucky it was one time
Then I went missing looking for the sublime

A nigga stayed low, left the ladder unclimbed
Time after time, verse blank, the line unrhymed

John Dies at the End

I read a book for the first time in years today. Specifically a fiction novel. It was a sequel to a humorous horror novel called John Dies at the End. The name of the sequel is unexpectedly called This Book is Full of Spiders.

I originally read the first book online, before it was ever picked up by a publisher. It was funny, light, fucked up, yet deeper with some meaning all at the same time. The second one wasn't quite as good, but a bit of the charm was still there.

I heard the first book has been adapted into a movie, gotta check it out.

Highly recommended for a good read.

http://johndiesattheend.com/

Locked in.

Sometimes I lock myself in. Figuratively, and literally. I turn off my phone. Pass on all social invites. Lay on the couch, watch TV, play video games, and not do a thing. I eat almost until the food at home is exhausted. I do this for multiple days, the entire weekend.

It's my zombification process.

It numbs the pain. It lets me recoup. And usually by the end of it, I regain some sense of motivation to live again. Try to to pick myself up from the floor, and be something. For something. Anything.

I know it sounds pretty messed up, and it probably is. But I don't know what else to do. I'm too messed up, and with no way out.

If only real life was like this.
Robin: I'm such a mess. Why do you even like me?
Barney: I guess... 'cause you're almost as messed up as I am.

LOST

Without a way, without any way.

Yo, opportunities lost because I blew them
On the sunniest days of my life I cry through them

What happened to you?

I broke.

Ten years later, I see her at a wedding.
She introduced me to her husband. Ricky.

I had forgotten she and the bride were friends.

Familiar faces, a bit familiar faces. Not so familiar faces.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. And then, one not-so-very special day, I went to my typewriter, I sat down, and I wrote our story. A story about a time, a story about a place, a story about the people. But above all things, a story about love. A love that will live forever. The End.

"Don't nobody wanna dance slow in the rain?"

Looking at my mini portable ash tray. Looking across the street in the rain. The thoughts don't stop.

God bless.

Still, I sometimes wonder. What if, what could've, what would've. I understand there's no point in wondering, in reminiscing. Yet on days like today, it still hits.

I want to think that "the world is yours" for the taking. I think it should be, I think it is. But somehow things got lost in translation. Is it what some people call faith? Destiny, or some other jazz like that?

I'm not sure, but I want to know. On days like today.

I believe that some things just don't make sense, or I think I believe that... but I'd rather be wrong and it's all to lead to some "thing". What that is, I don't know yet. It better be worth it. Could it be resurrection?

I ain't the only one. I'm sure there are millions out there, pondering just like me. I believe, dancing in the rain. Slipping, dropping, scrambling, faltering, yet ever striving. I think.

Sunshine.

Maybe it's time to re-evaluate my life. All of it.

Undun

I haven't written for awhile. Because I've lost the words. So much felt, so little words. Wasted times. Wasted moments. Wasted opportunities. I don't know what's ahead. I don't see a light. Undun.