It was 10 years ago. The year was 2001, once upon a time I had a date. My first real date.

A few months later, it all went to hell and she left me for her ex-bf, leaving me broken and torn. I never knew why, to this day.
The more things change, the more they stay the same.

The Roots - Now or Never

I feeling change is an absolute certainty
'Cause what's coming on is a state of emergency

I received an offer of employment, and 2 days later... I accepted it. I hesitated, because it was outside of my industry. In commercial real estate, once you're out, there's no getting back in. I had other offers in the industry, with much lower compensation. I struggled, until I realized there was no win-win for both my heart and bank balance. I grew up and accepted the truth that few ever accomplish what they truly want to.

I once chased the dream of building a major shopping centre, or office retail mixed use high rise.

The dream is dead.

Cash is king. C.R.E.A.M.

Bitch never done shit for me

Well now she's just another story
When we pass around that 40

- Ko, Capable

2:29 AM

The movie is done. Booze & poutine are finished, and friends are gone. A good night out.

What now.

The streets are empty and the night is beautiful. Nothing more, nothing less.

Just fading into darkness.

Days of Change

I had a dream about the mid 2000s. I was hanging with some old friends, at a new lounge. It was with familiar faces that I seldom see nowadays. And then I actually went to an internet cafe to play Starcraft.

And I thought to myself wtf... I have only even been to an internet cafe like twice in my life time!

It was familiar. Things were nice. Things were comfortable. Things felt right.

Can I go back?

Subtle Changes

I am listening to a local mainstream radio station right now, really listening. It's been a year or two since I have done that, always sticking to my own music collection or the university campus radio station.

Surprisingly, I like this.

I had an interview today. I think I came across well, and they liked me. I went in with 4 hours of sleep, only time will tell. It was for a business analyst position outside of commercial real estate. I've decided this time around that if I don't find something I'm satisfy with in the industry, it's time to move on.

It appears that I can't dream forever, not in this life.

I just heard on the radio, 'Men baffle me.' Women baffle me. Trying to understand a woman's heart and mind is to commit a suicide of the mind.
I'm up again, at the wee hour of the night. I

One Night

I got a question if a man can make his own heaven
Can he make his path to get to it too?
I think I know what she's thinking. She's obviously noticed, and she doesn't want to change a thing. She's comfortable with how we are, keeping our distance. She doesn't want to get close, because she's afraid to get hurt again. And probably mostly because she isn't attracted to me after all. I was foolish to think otherwise, based on one single drunken night. After what some people asked, pointed out, and egged me on, I thought we were more than.

But it was only the alcohol.

Just another episode in my 27 years of fucking around, not the literal kind. Soon to be 30 years old, and I have no fucking clue about life. No career, no girlfriend, only debt.

If there was a formula, I'd like to see it. I'd give the world for it.

Once upon a time, I thought it involved a single blue rose.
I eat, because I feel empty inside.