I never knew another like her in my lifetime.
So now I travel through a tunnel of space, without a place,
On the face of this earth,
With this pain gettin' worse,
Driving me insane or at least I'm touching the brink,
Of sanity to think of how I can link or contact her.
I was a fool before but more wise after the fact.
I'm analyzin' how I'm wantin' her back,
And wonderin' exactly where she could be on the map.
I'm just sittin' here, spinnin' the world on one finger.
Reoccurring thoughts of this brown skin singer
"When my poodle went blind at eights years of age, she would panic if alone in strange surroundings. My cat, Blue, would stay close to her within touching distance and Tina would be alright. Blue was my hero."
It can be strange how the smallest thing makes my heart melt.
Men or women, lovers or friends, sometimes especially family... we all do it. Why is it that once we become adults, we also stop speaking freely?
And we call it being"grown up". Guilty as charged.
But it'll do.
I'll make it so.
Other than that, life's alright. Slowly getting out of debt and paying my bills after my first pay cheque in a month. On the road back to normacy.
Good or bad...?
Definitely gonna miss the sunny days with autumn peeking its way here in Calgary.
It was fuckin' boring.
But... I made it.
Feeling tons of pressure, from within myself, to proof myself. I used to never be stressed over work, but it's all changed. I question my abilities, my competence, my skills, my fit.
To better days......
A few months later, it all went to hell and she left me for her ex-bf, leaving me broken and torn. I never knew why, to this day.
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
I feeling change is an absolute certainty
'Cause what's coming on is a state of emergency
I received an offer of employment, and 2 days later... I accepted it. I hesitated, because it was outside of my industry. In commercial real estate, once you're out, there's no getting back in. I had other offers in the industry, with much lower compensation. I struggled, until I realized there was no win-win for both my heart and bank balance. I grew up and accepted the truth that few ever accomplish what they truly want to.
I once chased the dream of building a major shopping centre, or office retail mixed use high rise.
The dream is dead.
Cash is king. C.R.E.A.M.
And I thought to myself wtf... I have only even been to an internet cafe like twice in my life time!
It was familiar. Things were nice. Things were comfortable. Things felt right.
Can I go back?
Surprisingly, I like this.
I had an interview today. I think I came across well, and they liked me. I went in with 4 hours of sleep, only time will tell. It was for a business analyst position outside of commercial real estate. I've decided this time around that if I don't find something I'm satisfy with in the industry, it's time to move on.
It appears that I can't dream forever, not in this life.
I just heard on the radio, 'Men baffle me.' Women baffle me. Trying to understand a woman's heart and mind is to commit a suicide of the mind.
I got a question if a man can make his own heavenI think I know what she's thinking. She's obviously noticed, and she doesn't want to change a thing. She's comfortable with how we are, keeping our distance. She doesn't want to get close, because she's afraid to get hurt again. And probably mostly because she isn't attracted to me after all. I was foolish to think otherwise, based on one single drunken night. After what some people asked, pointed out, and egged me on, I thought we were more than.
Can he make his path to get to it too?
But it was only the alcohol.
Just another episode in my 27 years of fucking around, not the literal kind. Soon to be 30 years old, and I have no fucking clue about life. No career, no girlfriend, only debt.
If there was a formula, I'd like to see it. I'd give the world for it.
Once upon a time, I thought it involved a single blue rose.
Take me away. Fly me to the moon.
Where did I go wrong? I'd like to know the answer. I feel more and more foolish as each year goes by. The more I learn, the less I know. The more I know, the less I wish I knew.
Out getting high on the back porch
I sing to the empties and cigarette butts
And I know that the song is about you
And I'd sing to your face, but I've got no guts
And the mice are an angel choir tonight
They squeak right in on the hallelujah
I'll clear my head and close my eyes
And I'll get up late and I'll give up hope in the end.
I wish I could I could have quit you, I wish I never missed you
Obsessed with the thought of you, the pain just grew and grew
I used to be love struck, now I'm just fucked up
Somebody slap me across the side of the head before I get too hopeful, like always.