And here I am, three in the morning. Can't sleep. The mind keeps going, about shitty things, crazy things, routine things, ridiculous things. But never a good thing.

Do you ever wonder how everyone around you's lives would be different if you never existed? Or simply disappeared? I think lots of people do... and probabaly over estimate, what we mean to others. Family, yes definitely. But from there on... as the days go by.

Sometimes I find the chilly air soothing. When I take it in, and it chills to the bone. It's letting go, and accepting the inevitable. Coming to terms with the shittyness of life. No more fighting, no more strain.

Alcohol numbs the mind, taking away the dark thoughts. It's only a means to an end.