I'm not crying



So, you're leaving, aren't you
I knew it when you said just then when you told me you were leaving
That's when I definitely knew
But if you're trying to break my heart
Your plan is flawed from the start
You can't break my heart, it's liquid
It melted when I met you
And as you turn around to leave
Don't' turn back to me
Don't turn around and see if I'm crying
I'm not crying

Calgary Women's Emergency Shelter

"The Calgary Police Service spends more time responding to calls about family violence than any other crime in the city."

"CPS said 27% of Calgary homicides had some connection to dmestic violence between 2002 and 2007."

"One in three women is going to be abused by their intimate partner."

I thought, women were meant to be loved by men.

My Room

I sat down. My chair's comfy, I lean back. It glides effortlessly as I lean and reach to power the computer. I looked up, out my windows, into the corridor. It's a bright sunny day, shining in from the windows across the corridor. Where everyone is. I stare, into mid air... seeing nothing but despair.

Another day. Another Spring. And again Just another empty room.

Marriage...

Trust is the start of it.

Joy is a part of it.

And love is the heart of it.

I went to a wedding this weekend, East-Indian style. It was odd, it was intriguing, and fitting. It was a friend's younger sister, who I first met back in the junior high days. My buddy had asked me to go help out with the setting up - they had a traditional pre-marriage celebration at the community centre last night, and the actual wedding ceremony at a hotel tonight. I feel very honoured to have been part of it to witness the moment. There were multiple times when I felt my eyes starting to water up. God damn I'm an emotional guy. Everyones' getting married these days, we're just getting to that age perhaps? The mid twenties. And I'm asked, so whens mine gonna be, if it's coming up next. Promptly, I feed them the usual line with a chuckle, maybe in thirty years or so, we'll see how it goes.

Meanwhile, my insides rip just a little more... as I ask myself the same thing.

Blu - Dancing in the Rain

"I said cool, but the truth is that I'm stressinp a grip
cause it's hard to make music when this depression exists
they say use it as inspiration & the best of 'em did
but I still see that I cant handle this pressure for shit
and if you ask me stress is a bitch"

Thoughts

Economic recessions don't last forever - they just feel like it.
Wealth doesn't just disappear out of thin air in this world - it changes hands.
Somebody's always making some dough somewhere, whether we know it or not.

Alcohol, drugs, substances... profits on the rise.
Lottery. Fishing. Maple syrup. Who knew?

"Taylor loved her so much." Hey God? Oh that's right, she's just in a better place.

Maybe somehow, everything works out in the end. Yes, drugs are bad. Oh yea, water kills.

Maybe I'm just heartless, inconlysiderate, and an insensitive bastard. Maybe feeling too deep breeds apathy.

What am I trying to say with all these? I have no fuckin' clue.