And you sink.. deeper and deeper.

There's no way out. No light. No sound. No nothing.

The story of my life. Boy meets world. Boy hates world, and the feeling is mutual. Living, but never alive. If I had a say about being born into this world.. I'm quite sure of my choice.

Just a touch, a hug, a love. That's all.

Da Art of Storytelling Pt.1

Talkin' about what we gonna be when we grow up
I said what you gonna be
she said, alive
It made me think for a minute, then looked in her eyes

- Outkast

"If that's the way you want it to be."

I said.
We feel that we have the responsibility to
shine the light
into the darkness you know
You know there's a lot of darkness out here
We watch it all the time
Well I'm busy looking at the darkness
and damn man that's some darkness over there

- Q-Tip ft. Stevie Wonder, What the Fuss? (Shook Remix)

All the love is gone, I feel this day

~ Paradise, DFE ft. Moka Only

I don't like to think in the middle of the night - I just do.

We were at Ikea. My dad hadn't started working there yet at the time - the discount's not anything great like people think, something like ten or fifteen percent off. Which is still nice in my opinion. I was getting bday gifts for my cousin's little girl - she wasn't even two yet I don't think. We were checking out the kids chairs & tables, the brightly colored cute ones. I remember calling my cousin at the time to make sure they wanted the chairs, not the desk. Two signs. I said to her that I'd take her to see little Frances next time - and she said no it's okay. I pulled my car out to the front of the store so we'd load the chairs easier. I threw her my keys so that she could wait in the car while I was goin' at it - she missed catching them. And my keys went underneath the car. That was the summer of 2004.

Where have the years gone? The world has left me behind. I only live in the past. It's the year 2009, but I really haven't lived since. Just silence. So quiet it hurts my ears, my soul, the pieces of my heart.

Tomorrow at work, it's gonna be awful. Going off two hour sleeps for work doesn't quite do it anymore - no longer the stock boy at a supermarket. But that doesn't change a thing - I'm still all alone.

It was another lonely valentines. I went to a friend's birthday - her bday being on the 14th. It was fun, it was full of her family & other couples - it was everything I wish for. Why do I have no luck with females? Is there an answer - a reason, reasons? Is it because I appear desperate - because I am desperate. Is it because I seem like I don't care - when I know it's all futile.

It's just another day of life when a close friend casually tells me that he's started dating another girl again.

Evasive Love

That's all.

Happy Valentines Day to the rest of you.

Lady luck is a funny motherfucker

She make you come up
She can make your money suffer
DFE - Paradise (ft. Moka Only)

I Try

- Macy Gray
Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together babe
But we're not
I play it off but I'm dreaming of you
And I'll keep it cool but I'm fiendin'
I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

Do you matter?
Everyone does, but me.