Why do you?
I have been told there's no answer to that, it just is.

I refuse to accept that; there just has to be something, anything, however tiny or insignificant to justify. Otherwise, we could say the same for all the terrible acts of humanity in this world - it just is. And we're all just living blind.

Tell me it's not so.

Calgary Real Estate Board

And all these just from my department of one month. I really am starting to like these ladies.

gift cards


At one point in time, I used to work at a kiosk in the middle of the mall. Kiosk, booth.. whatever you wanna call it, with the Telus store on one side, and a hair salon on the other. I worked the evening shift. I wasn't there for long, maybe half or year or just over. I got to know other peeps working at the mall, a few from Telus, and Rogers as well. I never got to know them well, but we'd always say hi and chit chat on slow nights. And the hair salon girls, they were both a treat to the eyes and to talk to. There was a pastry cinnamon bun place just a few stores down the corridor.. they gave me half a dozen to take home once. The only place I ever get them from. I don't even like cinnamon buns, but their's were delicious. They weren't supposed to give any out even at the end of the day, but the staff would always wave me in whenever I walked by. There were interesting happenings.. once the salon held a breast cancer fund raising event. The girls shaved.

During Christmas the mall would get ridiculous. A lot of kids, a lot of noise. A lot of everything, sensory overload. Christmas tunes on repeat over and over. When it was dead at night, I'd stare blindly into the corridor and people watch. Strangely, I enjoyed those moments - relaxed, and just dazing into nothingness in the middle of a crowded hallway. As if I wasn't actually there with all that happening around me.


Wishing whoever you are, reading this, a very Merry Christmas. Stay warm.

Who are you?

Sometimes we think that we know someone well. Family, friends, or maybe a lover. But do we? We only see what we want to see, feel what we want to feel. What is real? We don't even truly know ourselves.

How do you define yourself?
So what if I am awake and sober tomorrow...
I'll just be lonely again.


The busy streets again. Mornings, coffee. Dress shirts & pants. New faces, strangers, many I'll come to love. Some I'll fear & loathe. The attention, feeling everyone else's anticipation & eventual expectations. The restlessness. Trying to put names to faces. Finding the closest restroom, coffee station.

Every little thing.