How many lives are living strange

- Oasis
Wake up the dawn and ask her why
A dreamer dreams, she never dies
Wipe that tear away now from your eye
Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannon ball
Where were you while we were getting high
Someday you will find me, caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky

I'm actually going to the concert on Aug 30th.. the anticipation has been amazing. It keeps me going until the end of the month. Because, what have I got left? Was reading over some ancient emails from my old work, between me and a certain female ex-coworker. This wasn't HER, just a friend. She asked me out - and I suppose I blew it after a few outings. But anyhow.. reading over our conversations, it's as if I was living another life just over a year ago.

"And I don't ever wanna feel.. like I did that day"

- RedHotChiliPeppers

So, when's Okotoks gonna be built? - everyone
Look at his eyes.. Okotoks' sucked the life out of him for the last weeks. - coworkers
Everytime I drive by, there's no one there on-site. It's frustrating you know. - tenants
Just tell them that we'll be ready tomorrow. Even tho we're not. - my boss
So.. you know we're waiting for a payment. - contractors
Guys'll be on-site tomorrow, really. - contractors
We're... really close to doing a draw from the bank here... - my boss

Just some of the lines I'm sicken tired of hearing constantly at the moment.

And I almost forgot, my absolute favorite: A fax from the site supervisor in the afternoon, with simply two lines of writing, nothing else:
" Can't come in to work tomorrow. No cash for fuel."
I literally cracked out loud - and thoroughly disgusted.

"I never worry, now that is a lie"

- Red Hot Chili Peppers

It's difficult when you think something is wrong with yourself, but you don't know what. You start to think that it's got to be this.. it's got to be that, and you work at it. You work hard, and you made it. But nothing changes. Things are still the way they were. But something has to be wrong, for things to be this way. Right?.. And how things are is unbearable. There must be a thing, that I'm lacking, missing. So I do this, and I do that. I set goals, and I meet them. I pour my heart and soul, over and again, into everything. Yet, it's still the same. What's left to try, what's next?

But I can't see it. And that just makes it so much worse.

It's like I finally reached that light at the end of the tunnel.. then I realize, that it was never really there to begin with - now, it's just darkness.

I cannot sleep again.