"It's even dark in the daytime
It's not just good, it's great depression."

- Gnarls Barkley
I can't win.

It's just too much.

I am really ready to just roll over, not die, but let everything go.

Overwhelmed. Work. Friends. Family. Life.

Too much for me to face alone. Just too much.

Give me some love, a beach, a cocktail. Just let me wither into nothingness.......

And she asked, if things are better now.


So many times have I sat here, right here on this chair. Staring at the computer screen, not wanting to sleep for the night. Without knowing what I want to do, but only feeling the desire to release my emotions. Those bottled up feelings, tainted pasts. Not quite sober and not quite disillusioned, on that borderline of consciousness. What do I do, where do i go. Who to speak to, where to turn to. What is there, is there anything. Questions and answers, filling my mind like flies. Not organizable into words, not able to express in speech. Merely certain emotions, moments of time. When you want to just let it out, go let it out, let it all out. And you search for that outlet, you think long and hard. I've never found an answer. Mental fatigue takes me in and I cannot do but surrender.

Plumb - Damaged

Healing comes so painfully
And it chills to the bone
Will anyone get close to me?
I'm damaged, as I'm sure you know