I wish I might, I wish I might.
Some things never change.
I pretended I'm glad you went away. These four walls closing more everyday.
And I'm dying inside, and nobody knows it but me.

Like a clown I put on a show. The pain is real even if nobody knows.
And I'm crying inside, and nobody knows it but me.

Why didn't I say, the things I needed to say.
How could I let my angel get away. Now my world is just tumbling down.
I can say it so clearly, but you're nowhere around.

I carry a smile. when I'm broken in two.
And I'm nobody without someone like you. I'm trembling inside.
And nobody knows it but me.

I lie awake, it's a quarter past three. I'm screaming at night.
As if you'd hear me. Yea my heart is calling you.
And nobody knows it but me.

How blue can I get, you could ask my heart. But like a jigsaw puzzle.
It's been torn all apart.
A million words couldn't say, just how I feel. A million years from now you'll know.
I'll be loving you still.

-Nobody knows it but me

There is just nothing.

Nothing, meaningful ever lasts.

Time is merciless.

Cold-hearted. No, heartless.


Why do we always take things as granted? Why do we never treasure them as they are, until it's too late? Even as I'm typing this, thinking this, I'm being a hypocrite. I love my family; yet I don't always treat them as best I could. I love my friends; yet I rarely reach out and most times I allow myself to only see their flaws. There used to be a time when I wasn't like this, at least not so much so. There was a time when I once cared more, felt more, believed more. A time once when I looked to each day with dreary sleepy eyes, yet with hope and desire. It wasn't so long ago. Growing up... how tough I feel it is. No longer a boy, now a man. An adult, not youth. Things are different. Things are difficult. Things can be so unbearable. The emptiness and the inner pain so beyond my imagination.

There was once a time when I wasn't preoccupied with her, or the one before her.. or any of the hers. When I could focus, when I could live. When my mind would be free from its chains and I would soar in my mind, imagine new heights that that I could reach one day, given the time, hardwork, and energy.


"You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one"
- John Lennon