untitled.

I wish I might, I wish I might.
Some things never change.
I pretended I'm glad you went away. These four walls closing more everyday.
And I'm dying inside, and nobody knows it but me.

Like a clown I put on a show. The pain is real even if nobody knows.
And I'm crying inside, and nobody knows it but me.

Why didn't I say, the things I needed to say.
How could I let my angel get away. Now my world is just tumbling down.
I can say it so clearly, but you're nowhere around.

I carry a smile. when I'm broken in two.
And I'm nobody without someone like you. I'm trembling inside.
And nobody knows it but me.

I lie awake, it's a quarter past three. I'm screaming at night.
As if you'd hear me. Yea my heart is calling you.
And nobody knows it but me.

How blue can I get, you could ask my heart. But like a jigsaw puzzle.
It's been torn all apart.
A million words couldn't say, just how I feel. A million years from now you'll know.
I'll be loving you still.

-Nobody knows it but me

There is just nothing.

Nothing, meaningful ever lasts.

Time is merciless.

Cold-hearted. No, heartless.

Imagine

Why do we always take things as granted? Why do we never treasure them as they are, until it's too late? Even as I'm typing this, thinking this, I'm being a hypocrite. I love my family; yet I don't always treat them as best I could. I love my friends; yet I rarely reach out and most times I allow myself to only see their flaws. There used to be a time when I wasn't like this, at least not so much so. There was a time when I once cared more, felt more, believed more. A time once when I looked to each day with dreary sleepy eyes, yet with hope and desire. It wasn't so long ago. Growing up... how tough I feel it is. No longer a boy, now a man. An adult, not youth. Things are different. Things are difficult. Things can be so unbearable. The emptiness and the inner pain so beyond my imagination.

There was once a time when I wasn't preoccupied with her, or the one before her.. or any of the hers. When I could focus, when I could live. When my mind would be free from its chains and I would soar in my mind, imagine new heights that that I could reach one day, given the time, hardwork, and energy.

Imagine.

"You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one"
- John Lennon