Snowing

It's snowing again.

Outside, and also inside.
I can shelter from the blizzard outside, only if I could do the same for within.

The pain feels like having a dagger in my heart, and she's just dragging it across ever so slowly and gently.

I need an out. Give me a bone, will ya? Anything, anywhere.. I just want to be taken away.

Christmas 06

Just want to say.. Merry X'mas =)

I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas.

.. I'm still feeling cold.

Killing me softly..

I should be feeling happy today. But I don't really, no. Last night, I had one of the most amazing time of my life. But still.. nothing seems to mean anything anymore when compared to her.

I never thought that, to be able to be with her face to face for lunch.. to wish her Merry Christmas before she leaves, would be a luxury. It appears that it now is.

She's killing me softly, everyday.
Cause' my loneliness has got the best of me, and my heart's so weak..

Time

Just like that, it's been a year.

Last year, I went to my company's Christmas party. I was still a newbie then, just a part-timer. This year, I went to my company's Christmas party. Still new to the company, barely half a year as a full-timer.

But how time flies..

What I set out to accomplish, I could not. And I'm just counting days, counting the years. Sometimes I wonder why I bother struggling. It might be best to just, give up, and let it be.

But I always have that glimmer of hope.. seemingly so close, but forever out of my reach.

Most of the time, I think about how my days might be a little happier if I could just be intoxicated, all the time. Yes, it is pathetic. But if you were me, would you keep on struggling?

It's not simply about getting beat down, and getting back up; it's more like being beat down on a choke slam, and then curb-stomped on the sidewalk.

Where's the relief?

What do you do, when there's no escape?

What do you do, when life really takes it toll on you?

What do you do, when there's so much that you just can't forget?

What do you do, when your dreams haunt you?

There's no end. There's a future, but it's just a dark tunnel. How do you survive in this dark place? The light that I yearn for, keeps on evading me.

It baffles me. We were once so close, so important to each other; but now, even when we do talk, we talk as if we're strangers. It hurts, over and over, and it just doesn't stop hurting.