Happy Belated Birthday

to me.

Would you take care of me?...

I Reminisce

But there is nothing to reminisce about. I realize there has never been anything. What a fool.

The Roots. How I Got Over. ?

Before I go back to the heavenly father
Pray for me if it ain’t too much brother
Whatever don’t break me or make me stronger
I feel like I can’t take too much longer
It’s too much lyin’
And too much fryin’
I’m all cried out cause I grew up cryin’
They all got a sales pitch I ain’t buyin’
They tryin’ to convince me that I ain’t tryin’
We uninspired
We unadmired
And tired and sick of being sick and tired.

Silence

What happened. What happened to the me who questions why prostitution is illegal. The morality of aborptions, euthanaiza. The one who doesn't just say yes or no just because that's how the traditional view has always been or if it's the general mainstream opinion. The death penalty, why it's deserved, why it's ok? The one with a curious mind that listens to arguments. Does god exist? Could god be an alien? Could there be our god as well as aliens existing in the same universe?...

That me has died. In silence.

I don't know how it happened, and I don't know how to bring him back. Because once again just about everything has lost meaning to me. I stopped caring and I don't know how to get back. Because I just don't care. The first time, the person is usually just saying it. But after repeated realizations, some things actually start to sink in.

The only link left is my family, whom I love. The previous generation... but don't have my own "family".

rainy days

"Smile, and give me reason to keep on believin'
That everything ain't misleadin"




original author

Have you ever felt like finding a hole in the ground to hide?
Not just ashamed of yourself, and everything else.

Just broken.

"I want to get better."

The season premiere of House really struck a chord with me. I'm generally not a big tv person... but it was just so good and close to home.

Now I just need a happy ending like in the episode.

she keeps on passin`me by

I am sick of how it feels.

When my eyes see you, and the way it makes me feel.
How beautiful you are. With your smile, your eyes, your hair, your everything.
Even your imperfections makes you perfect in my eyes.
But I should never tell you how I feel, when I know it`s a lost cause.

I haven't gone as far as asking if I could get with her
I just play it by ear and hope she gets the picture

But she`s seeing someone. Or she thinks of me only as a friend.
There`s never romance. It seems to come along with the asshole persona.

Nice guys don`t always finish last, sometimes we don`t get to finish.